Understanding Success, Failure, and Lessons in Self Improvement

Success, Failure, and Lessons in Self Improvement

“Wherever you are, that is where you are meant to be, experiencing the things you were meant to experience.”

A client recently contacted me asking about test taking. His main concern was that he did not want to fail a certain test. During the conversation, I gave him strategies as to how to go about taking tests without getting stressed out. This would give him the upper hand in taking any tests.

Failure and Lessons

We got back to the main issue of not failing. He asked, “But what if I fail?” I answered him, “You are likely to learn more out of anything that you fail than learn from passing.” It makes sense. You will learn many lessons when you fail at something. But if you pass that event, you have no reason to look for your lessons.

Everything that happens to us happens for a purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and how failure leads to success, treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self improvement and true meaning of success.

Patch Adams

I remember watching “Patch Adams” – a movie. It really shows you something about improving yourself. Hunter “Patch” Adams is a medical student who failed to make it through the board exams. After months of suffering in melancholy, depression and suicidal attempts – he decided to seek medical attention and voluntarily admitted himself in a psychiatric ward. His months of stay in the hospital led him to meeting different kinds of people. Sick people in that matter. He met a catatonic, a mentally handicapped person, a schizophrenic and so on. Patch found ways of treating his own ailment and finally realized he has to get back on track. He woke up one morning realizing that after all the failure to success and pains he has gone through, he still want to become a doctor. His positive attitude brought him self-improvement and what is success in life. He didn’t only improve himself, but also the life of the people around him and their quality of life. Did he succeed? Needless to say, as the story goes, he became the best doctor America has ever known.

So, when does self improvement become success synonym? Where do we start? Here are some tips:

*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on free self improvement tips, not self pitying. Those people were selected to project a certain image. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.

*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.

*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make room for self improvement.

*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect a black sheep to become a goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.

*Self improvement results in inner stability, personality development and keys to SUCCESS at work. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.

* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It aims at achieving results to an improved and better YOU.

*Appreciate others. Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we are being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.

*When you are willing to accept change and go through the process of self improvement online, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people have different values and attitudes. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self improvement. (Be careful with this one. The other person may think you value them less unless they participate. This can precipitate many undesired results.)

Appreciate Where You are in Life

Very few people can be truly labelled as ‘over-night successes’. Either, they are just lucky, or they have been leading up to that moment with often years of working in the same area. It’s a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbours, etc… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self improvement, we increase our opportunities for success.

“There really are no failures in life; only lessons to be learned.”

Shannon Panzo

Great Things Happen Here!

Times are Tough! Are You “Trying Hard Enough”?

Shannon Panzo 2 comments

Are you plagued by falling short of inevitable success? Here is a revelation of how even the simplest things can cause us a great amount of discomfort. By learning about these, you may choose to take necessary steps to modify events in your own life to create a better life for yourself.

The topics I write about are varied because I have more interests than the average person. That is what happens when you condition your brain and use Mental Photography for most of your adult life. My ability to talk to people about virtually anything makes life rather interesting. I see connections where most others don’t. I have been blessed many times over in my journey through life – and I am grateful.

Illusion of Disbelief

The following incident comes from my interaction with one of my clients. The words she used revealed a picture of disbelief. Even though the client was in complete denial that this had any effect on how she thought about things, or events unfolding, it was clear to me what impact it was having. Cause and effect is easily recognized when you know what to look for.

I have worked with people from all over the world, with all different backgrounds, education, and social status. I have found that there is one truly insidious word that infiltrates and undermines even the most stalwart decision maker. When pointed out, I am often greeted with a ‘whatever’ glance and complete disregard for what I just brought to their attention. (It reminds me of the look I probably gave my 3rd Grade English teacher when she said the using the word “ain’t” is bad English.) There is a word so entwined with the English language, people will often defend its’ position it the language so that they don’t need to stop using it.

Try to use the word “try”

I will give you an enigma to solve: “Try to use the word ‘try’.” By what the word means, you would never be able to use it. I will explain what I mean as we go along. I don’t want to ruin the suspense.

I have a bone to pick with a person long dead. The person that invented the word “try”. I often have someone say to me, “I am trying really hard to…” That one sentence sends cymbals crashing in my head whenever I hear it.

It may sound like I am being very pedantic here, but let me tell you a story. Now, put those fuzzy focus glasses on while I relate something to you. I teach people how to overcome themselves. People get in their own way when seeking success. What that means is that most people run a series of destructive and self-sabotaging recordings through their head. The result is self-sabotage. Therefore, they have failed before they even came close to succeeding.

Whenever people say something, they can actually be saying two completely different things. While they would think they are saying, “It’s all go!” they may actually be telling themselves that they really only expect to fail at what it is that they are talking about. I will give you an example of what I mean.

We have 2 sentences: “Lift the glass of water off the table” and “Try to lift the glass of water off the table”. While the first sentence is clearly a sentence that leads to a direct action, what is the second sentence saying? Will the glass of water ever be lifted from the table? The answer to this is obviously No.

Just by adding the word “try” to the sentence, the action was Defeated before it ever began. It was a waste of breath to utter the second sentence because it results in nothing, a complete impasse, a mere suggestion of things that will never be.

Remember, what prompted me to write about this is a student (client) of mine that told me they were “trying really hard” to get results from the training, and they were not. Now, there are a lot of problems associated with that one very small statement, and those cymbals crashed again. If my client is “trying” to gain results, what is my client going to achieve? NOTHING! The act of ‘trying’ creates the frequency that you are already defeated, even before you begin.

I proceeded to point out to my client how counter-productive the word ‘try’ is. And yes, I got the same old liturgy of reasons why they need to be able to freely use such a destructive word. Well, it is their choice.

There should be a law that states, “if a word corrupts the action intended within a statement to point of no action, then that word should be abolished”. Chaucer was always inventing words. Maybe it is he that should be held accountable. I am always looking to gain new information. If there is anyone that knows the true story why and when the word ‘try’ was invented, I would love to know.

Let’s go back to the enigma I posed for you earlier. If you Try to use the word Try, then you would never be able to use the word. Attaching the word Try on the front of that sentence negates the effect of the rest of the sentence, as if the sentence never existed in the first place. The optimum statement of inaction.

The wonderful thing that happens when my clients participate in the training I teach, everything that is assigned for them to do is an exercise. Each of these exercises do exercise and strengthen the brain. So it is very easy for my clients to switch out the word ‘try’ with ‘exercise’, because they are exercising the brain!

So good luck out there to all you self-defeatists that want to disregard what I have to say and defend a word that does nothing but corrupt any action associated with it. You are the people that represent the great unwashed, the non-leaders, and the people that will never truly leave a mark on this world except a grave stone. Face it, when you continue to ‘Try’, and when that doesn’t work, you even ‘Try Harder’, or ‘Try Really Hard’, and it still doesn’t work, you fail. If you choose not to be that person, what difference would changing a little word make? (That is topic for another day.)

“A life conditioned with repeated failure is just the same as a life that is conditioned with repeated success, except you’re going the opposite direction.” – by ME!

Great Things Happen! (If you let them.)

Shannon Panzo